2025 Entries

Creepy

Had a dream that a creepy guy broke into my house (childhood home) and I kicked him so hard he fell down the stairs and died.

Seed

I germinated a large seed in a Petri dish and took it to a special room in the corner of a semi abandoned house. The seed had already grown by the time I brought it to the room and it looked strangely wet. The floor of the plant room was only dirt. I threw it on the floor and wondered if I should pick it up and move it further back, because I was afraid that it would do something to me when I entered the room, but I was afraid to touch it. One day later I checked the video monitor and there was a person-shaped hole in the dirt floor. The plant did this on its own, and it was a normal part of its development. Someone needed to lie in the hole to complete the growth of the plant. That's when I woke up.

Tower

The University of Illinois undergraduate library was a tower with an exterior elevator on the outside. I watched the top of the tower break off and explode into a fireball right in front of me when I was at an outdoor event, and I had just been inside half an hour prior. I read in the paper that someone had cannibalized one of my coworker's remains in the wreckage because it had already been barbecued in the flames. The irony is that the UIUC undergraduate library doesn't have any above ground structures except the entrance, because it's completely underground.

Restaurant

My parents took me to the Trump restaurant. They had a dog running around. I picked it up and it had the head of some democrat Trump didn't like. They turned her into a dog. There was also an old guy who claimed that cocaine infused bandaids helped him with arthritis, and I had to help him put them on.

Countdown

I was watching the countdown ball drop in the city for New Year's and I yelled FUCK OFF, 2025!

Skin

You were watching Lord of the Rings and there was this character called Gay Count Chocula who was wearing this Halloween Dracula costume and he sat cross legged in the most gay way of all time. There was also a bombed out husk for broken down PS4 games, and in one of them was a part where you wore Cartman's bloody skin and ran around.

Bananas

The yard was completely infested with moles to the point it was clogged with them. Whenever you'd look down, you'd see clusters of little pink tails sticking out of the ground. Other people had tried everything to get rid of them and none of it worked. They wouldn't leave. For some reason I happened to have a bunch of bananas and brought it into the yard. The moles all went crazy because they loved bananas. They climbed out of the ground and waved their little claws at the bananas like dogs. I shook the bananas at them and they all popped out of the ground at once. They followed me around until I came to the yard of someone I didn't like and I tossed the bananas over the fence. The whole horde clambered into the neighboring yard to grab it and they became that person's problem.

2026 Entries

Bedbugs

I was with a group of people hiking through the wilderness in extreme cold. We supposedly had a noble goal, but it wasn't clear what it was. At one point it was so cold that neon gas became trapped at ground level and gave sounds an echoing, hollow quality, like we were inside a tin can. Occasionally it warmed up and people would swim in the creek to gather the ham slices that naturally grew along the riverbanks. A convicted but allegedly reformed serial killer was part of our group. He seemed nice on the surface, but he always over explained everything and had a cold look in his eyes. When I tried having a conversation with him, he spent most of the time talking at length about how this long hike was just like the time he helped the police find the bodies he'd disposed of in the woods. He tied some flexible reeds together in a raft shape and carelessly tossed it on the ground as we walked. I was curious to see if it would float and threw it into the river, but I missed and dropped it into some cattails. He went to the riverbank without saying a word to me and picked it up. I tried to apologize, but he ignored me and put it on the river himself.

Later I found myself in a hotel to warm up. The hotel was badly maintained and located in a desolate area of town that was mostly vacant lots, but I was happy to have a place to get my bearings—until I looked more closely. The air conditioners were falling out of the wall and blocked off by a fence so that guests couldn't mess with them. The ceiling had holes in it with flashing lights inside that were only visible when I turned the lights off. A broken baby doll was lying on top of a shelf with its head hanging off the side. The soap was a large, grayish blue chunk with "economy" stamped on it. I got into bed, but felt itchy. I looked under the covers and saw that there were no bedsheets, just a bare mattress with bedbugs crawling all over it. I jumped out of bed in disgust and frantically brushed myself off. I picked up all my stuff while yelling to myself about demanding a refund. I hoped I wouldn't bring home a bedbug infestation. I was relieved to wake up in my own bed.

Blue Orbs

I had a dream that I was in my childhood friend's house getting attacked by blue orbs. I had to homing attack them sonic style.

Married

Oh shit I forgot to tell you that I had a dream where this giga nerdy guy was trying to flirt with me because he saw me playing old games. I caught him and called him out like "bro are you trying to flirt with me? I'm married". I showed him my wedding band, he got really quiet ran the fuck away.

Jim Jones

Had a really bad dream about Jim Jones. I was in a church with a few dozen other people and I realized early on that it was a cult. It wasn't People's Temple, but it might as well have been. No one was allowed to leave the church compound. It was bugged with recording equipment of all kinds. One of my coworkers showed up to the church to try it out, but started complaining to me about how repressive it was. I shushed him and told him to wait until we were outside to tell me anything.

Jim Jones called a meeting where he made it clear that anyone caught trying to leave would be hunted down and killed. Despite the threats, two people still ran away: Lars Ulrich and some random lady. They left in the middle of the night and escaped through the swamp that surrounded the compound. Jim sent out the entire congregation to go looking for them, but they couldn't get past the muck and deep water.

I called someone on the phone with a coded message to escape on a plane to Europe. Right after I hung up, Jim Jones called me. The phone rang and rang and rang but I couldn't answer it unless I turned on a bunch of crazy security features in WhatsApp. I picked up the phone and he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was changing the settings on my phone so I could always be ready to answer when he called. He seemed pleased but I had a bad feeling.

I went upstairs to a tiny single stall bathroom to collect my thoughts. Someone stomped up the stairs screaming and yelling "WHERE'S ALEX?" He tore everything in the room apart looking for me. Soon he found the bathroom and pounded on the door. He threw himself against the door like a football linebacker so hard that it bulged in the middle. He screamed incoherently the whole time. I was cornered. I grabbed the air freshener off the toilet to spray in his face when he broke the door down. Then I woke up.

Pyramid

Had a dream I had to harvest manure from the basement of a pyramid and use it for a covert growing operation. It was not clear what we were growing.

Motel

I have been having incredibly strange dreams since I got sick with the flu.

My parents and I were visiting old motels in my hometown. We went to one where they stayed at overnight in the 80s. We went inside to explore it and saw that it had become a complete shithole. Nobody was inside, though we still felt like we were being watched. The walls were neon green with peeling yellow trim and moldy blue carpet. It was like it was trying to be bright and happy, but the atmosphere was heavy with dread. Whoever had painted the walls was in a hurry to finish the job and applied one single, uneven coat with spots missing. The rooms were arranged around a central common area, which was completely empty. We looked into one of the rooms and it was painted in the same clashing neon colors and was mostly empty save for a moldy hospital bed with a bedpan on it. We became uneasy and decided to walk out the way we came, but the door opened onto a common room that was exactly the same as the one we had just left. Another door was open and we ran into it hoping for an exit. Instead we were in one of the guest rooms, void of ameneties except for a large hospital bed dominating the floor space. I looked over at my parents. Their entire heads were encased with large wooden mask helmets with abstract skulls carved into the front. They tried to pull them off, but the masks couldn't be removed. A profound sense of evil radiated from the masks, like the motel was possessing them. The room itself was making noises that sounded like the low tone of a bellows steadily pushing air through a pipe organ without playing any notes. I opened a second door in the corner of the room, which led outside onto a grassy field with a pond. I pulled my parents outside, slammed the door shut, and dragged them away from the motel. I whacked the masks with a club, splitting them in half, and they fell off. I felt like I had escaped a great evil and chased butterflies across the field.

Arby's

Had a dream that I saw a techno concert at an Arby's where the guy was controlling the tones by waving his hands in front of glass blocks.

Santas

Forgot to tell you i had a really weird dream.

There was a huge party of Santa Clauses at a hotel and it got a little too wild and crazy and a few of them started making out.

Smokestack

Was on a road trip and saw a huge smokestack with heavy black smoke. There's a power plant in Springfield, Illinois. my travel buddy pointed at it and said "yeah that's not a power plant, that's actually Auschwitz". Also fat people were paid special attention to because they starved to death more slowly. The Nazi doctors figured out that fat people were actually bags full of smaller bags. if you removed the bags, their entire body would shrink. So basically they had surgery where they were cut open like trash bags and they'd come out looking like they'd been starved.

Shamu

Btw I forgot to tell you—had a dream that someone started the apocalypse by feeding a stadium of people to Shamu the orca at sea world.

Cake

Boi I had a dream I was at work and on the phone with a customer! They kept trying to get me to draw on a cake and I said no enough times to be audibly frustrated and rude to her. She gently told me that I'd made her feel bad and I apologized and genuinely felt terrible and was worried that I'd get in trouble for it. What a stupid dream!!!

Snakes

Had a dream that I was walking in the forest and a bunch of snakes were hanging out of trees looking at me. They had eaten recently as evidenced by the giant lumps in their stomachs, so they were feeling lazy.

Trafficked

I had a really unsettling dream last night that I want to write down before I forget it:

I was given a job at a counseling office where the owner gave me a free room to sleep in. It turns out that I was the only one who had their own room and everyone else was jealous. I don't remember what the job itself was. After hours, walked in on the other employees (who were all my coworkers from my ACTUAL JOB) having an orgy. One of them was filming it. Somehow this is how I realized I was being trafficked (!!!) and I grabbed my stuff and ran away. I got on a tiny little airplane that hopped back and forth across the tarmac without actually flying anywhere.

Avril Lavigne

My dreams are especially vivid when I've been stressed and need to sleep more than usual.

I was at a shopping mall with a confusing layout. It had several hidden floors and dead end hallways. I wanted to take the exit stairs to leave the building, but they all opened onto hidden corridors that looped back on themselves. Eventually I found a way out and walked into a parking lot. I blinked and ended up in the mall again.

I was with a couple of people who were supposed to be my friends, but I don't actually know them in real life. One of them looked like Avril Lavigne. We walked past a store that wasn't open yet and she got excited because it was supposed to be a haute couture fashion shop. It was dark inside the store and all I could see were black, glittery trees that looked like cheap Halloween decorations.

The shop opened and it turned out to be an expensive goth club that was crowded with rich people in suits. It was the headquarters of a cult leader who allegedly had magic powers and hypnotized people with long-winded speeches about fake-deep philosophy. He looked like Jordan Peterson and had such a booming voice that he dominated every room he was in. I realized that he didn't actually have supernatural abilities; the source of his power was a microphone on a wire dangling over his head. I cut the wire and watched as he realized that his voice was no longer amplified. People stopped listening to him and treated him like another face in the crowd. I cornered him several times and asked him why he lied about knowing the secret of life, but he never answered and ran away.

The same girl who looked like Avril Lavigne disappeared and I needed to figure out what happened to her. The last place anyone had seen her was at a Subway restaurant next to Sears. I reviewed the CCTV footage and saw her walk away from the counter with an old man. He took her to a back corridor and ran her over with his mobility scooter. I asked the people at subway if they knew anything. They were in on it and gave the girl a poisoned cookie.

Pink Sludge

btw I forgot to mention a weird dream I had.

I lived in a big mansion from the 1800s and one of my coworkers was there for some reason. She ate a bunch of strawberry flavored pastries and then threw up neon pink sludge all over my room. She left a trail of it. I didn't want to clean it up so I made someone else do it.

Phyllis

My coworkers appeared in my dreams AGAIN.

One of the deli employees, an older woman named Phyllis, was planning on tearing off her husband's head and eating it like a praying mantis. She was asking us for suggestions on where to take him for a date beforehand.

Muppet

I was on an old website that looked like it was from the 90s. It had a livestream hosted by a muppet that looked like the bear from Bear in the Big Blue House dressed like Snoop Dogg. He said "what's up, my nizzles?" And turned around showing the screen his giant puffed out donut butthole. I clicked his butthole and found that I could pull it wide open. He was like "oh yeah ouuuugh grab my azzle fo shizzle".

Ed Kemper

I fell asleep after finishing it and had a dream that Ed Kemper and an annoying person with no name were my roommates. The annoying person was bothering Ed so much that he threatened to kill him in various horrible ways. He told me to leave the house for a few hours and when I came back the apartment was covered with blood. he was frying his guts in a skillet and acting like nothing happened. I left the apartment and went to the woods.

Nerds

Had a dream that the two main characters from Revenge of the Nerds were feeling each other up with their shirts off.