<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
Call him Brap the Ripper
call him bubonic the way he plagues me
calling all degenerates
Calling any object I dislike debris regardless of size or purpose
Calling any object I dislike debris regardless of size or purpose
why does this concept bother me in a way that i like? what emotion is this??
It’s called brutalism
Calling FA amateur-operated is an insult to amateurs.
calling in to work sick with a "weird dream"
Call me a homeless romantic, but how about we go back to under my bridge and get to know each other?
call me psycho i’m about to make a scene in this shower
callout post
intergalactic space aliens
flying fuckernauts or astrobastards
Call PETA. They'll know what to do.
Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
Calm down guys he's only showing how he wants to be treated IN HELL!!
calmly shakes a turd out of pants leg at a wine tasting even
Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
canada has glow in the dark dinosaur currency
Canada - Stephen Harper - The Liberals - The Conservatives - HST This shit makes me wish I was living in the US right now.
CANADIAN LESSONS! Are you American and moving to Canada?
Can a fetus starve to death at 6-8 weeks?
Can ANYTHING beat "You forgot Poland" god....I cant believe I forgot that line.
Can chewing gum act as a laxative?
can feel the entire frozen pizza that i just ate almost immediately turning into poop
can i borrow 1 thousing dollers
can i crack open your ribcage and nestle inside it btw. as friensds
can i get a love combo with a large friendship
can i keep it
Can I PLEASE bear your offspring!? / We will figure something out. / NOOOO! THEY MUST BE 100% OUR SPAWN!!!!
Can I please come over and look at all your stuff in your room
Can I sit on the fence? / I am on my own side of 'get along'.
can i suck you off while you infodump?
Canivor meat doesn't taste great and ...it's very dry.
Simply because we're not supposed to eat it.
Can people eat butts?
Can somebody tell me what the hell an H town jam is?
can some one help me ....im very new
Can't believe how much work mushrooms put into indicating their poisonousness with bright colors and all the sudden here comes fruit trees like heyyy chordates look at our BRIGHT COLORS that means we're sooooo good mmm mmm colors yummyyyy teehee god I'd be so fucking pissed off if I were amanita right now
can't get the blue shit off of his hand.
Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
Can the snakes on Medusa’s head eat, and if so, where does all their food go? Do their intestines all pass through her skull somewhere and connect to her human stomach? Maybe they just empty into her esophagus and every so often she has to cough up a dead mouse???
"CANT SHIT." / - Carved into a bathroom stall at a campsite
Can't sleep, Clown will eat me. / Can't sleep, Clown will eat me. / Can't sleep, Clown will eat me.
can't stop thinking about people that first ate mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error of like, this one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately and this one makes you see God for a week
can't talk. sharing images and words on the internet
can ur mind make you run faster then a wolf? can ur mind make your sharp stick strnog enough to not break by a tiger claw?
can u speak tongues?
Can u stop hurting people or do you have any problem?
Can you let us "wolfaboos" like wolves?
That's not ur problem bitch
Let wolf haters be wolf haters and wolf lovers be wolf lovers :D
Can wolves survive in the vacuum of space? No they can't. All wolf arguments are now invalid!
Can you also poop pokeballs?
Can you do my Puerto Rican Cat Dancer Couple in the nude?
... Can you imagine having sex with your own father, thirty or so years older than you? :puke: Actually... I find one of my cousins quite attractive... :flirty:
can you imagine if instead of anti abortion christians took the stance of it being good because it gives people in heaven new babies
Can you just show up stupid tomatoe murderer?
can you lez the fuck in
can you please take care of me
can you stop acting like a gorilla getting fucked?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? / Do your balls hang low? / Actually, to do that, that'd have to hang all the way to the floor.
"Capitalism Magazine" wow seems like a really unbiased source! :lol:
Capitalism: You buy a doughnut.
capsaicin should be a household word
<Captain_Cobungo> Arr. We have a Pirate Ship now.
<FirstMateScurvy> Yes captain. But we have no cannons.
<Captain_Cobungo> Arr! We need to loot something in order to get money for cannons.
<Captain_Cobungo> Arr! All hands on deck! Prepare to loot and plunder.... Canada!
* FirstMateScurvy puts his hands on the deck
<FirstMateScurvy> What now cap'n?
<Captain_Cobungo> Not like that ya lilly livered land-lubber!
<Captain_Cobungo> We're gonna invade canada! Arr! Attack!
* Captain_Cobungo and his forces loot and plunder Canada. Arr.
<Cow> Umm... Captain Cobungo, how did you loot and plunder canada with no weapons?
<Captain_Cobungo> What makes you think Canada has weapons? Arr.
Captain of the Titanic: Full speed ahead and Fuck the icebergs !!! Where is all this fucking water coming from !?!?
<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<alayna> :blink:
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric"
“careful, he bites!”*pans down to immobile peanut on a leash*
car in front of me at a red light had this bumper sticker and i flipped out
*carnie voice* See the man who can only get it up to pictures of lola bunny
Carry my casket - m4w
Carryon eating birds but pray first that they don't give you the shits.
cars can have sex! :ony: they can they can they can.. that's what i beilive xD, lol.. go car smex xD
Case in point, I won last year's. :(
Casey: Yeah, writing paper.
Josh: want to be distracted?
Josh: want to play a game?
Casey: Dude...the paper...
Josh: *scizzors beats paper *
Josh: yes I know I misspelled it
Josh: and that
Casey: *pulls out rock*
Josh: *VOLCANO!
Josh: nothing beats volcano
Casey: ASTEROID.
Josh: MAGIC!!!
Casey: BLACK HOLE!
Josh: WHITE HOLE!
Casey: PATRIOT ACT!
Josh: not white house you phail
Casey: No, no, no. *Nothing* beats the Patriot Act, although I'm sure the ACLU is working very hard on it.
Josh: fine
Josh: ANARCHY
Casey: TOTALITARIAN STATE
Josh: EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN
Casey: STALIN
Josh: DEATH
Casey: RELIGION
Josh: RATIONAL THOUGHT
Casey: FUNDIES
Josh: NOISE CANCELING HEADPHONES
Casey: PEOPLE WITNESSING AT YOUR HOUSE
Josh: SHOTGUN
Casey: BOMBS
Josh: PATRIOT ACT
"Casual Dress Friday" should be scrapped for something more effective such as "Brutal Child Labor Friday".
catagory 5 blankie event leaves 5 sleep and 13 rested
caterpillars are born when a clump of dust reaches critical mass
caterpillars have more muscles than humans but i'd like to see one try to fight me irl and see what happens
Cat fags are just as stupid, trust me.
CATFAP: "YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT?" LOL, THEN I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON'T SUPPORT ABORTION.
CATFAP: lol, I know. It was the typo that was so funny. She meant to say "IT was an accident, meaning how she spelt "invader" But "I WAS AN ACCIDENT AND I AM VERY MAD" was just hilarious on a page about abortion. You know what, nevermind.
cat gives a cardiac massage to his injured girlfriend
Catholicism: The priest blesses the doughnut and you mustn't chew it.
CAT LOVERS NOTE: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DEMISE OF THIS ANIMAL!!
Cats are ASSHOLES man. I've had to smack my cat a few times. And I don't like hitting animals, but I had to smack it to GET IT OFF!
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Cats can seriously hurt you? When was the last time you saw an article in the paper titled "TABBY CAT MAULS TWO YEAR OLD GIRL?"
cats from Zerowing. / "all your base are belong to us" / a such engrish deserves death.
Cats have barbs on their penis.
cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011
Cats meow out of angst: "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! We could break so much!"
Cat the other white meat. My dad actually has a shirt that says that. :lol:
Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea
caught this bad boss sucking on my doob,,hes wecome to it,,rock on,,,,;)
any ideas why?
'Cause I don't like this place.
'Cause it shows he's learned leet ninja skillz from Mr. Miyagi.
cause of birth: natural causes
'Cause when we get down to it, we aren't anything but whale sex organs.
[!CAUTION]! Otherwise, beast unleashed (aka go nuts).
Cavemen = FAIL?
Cavemen once existed. So did Bigfoot.
cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point
C:\> dir
CONFIRM FORMAT C: (Y/N)? n
OKAY, FORMATTING C: no no no
CONFIRM FORMAT C: (Y/N)? n
OKAY, FORMATTING C:. PRESS ESC TO ABORT.
esc esc esc!
CONFIRM FORMAT C: (Y/N)? n
OKAY, FORMATTING C:
esc esc esc esc!
YOU'VE HAD YOUR CHANCE SUCKER.
WIPING F.A.T.
esc esc esc esc!!
TOO LATE NOW. HAHAHAHA FORMATTING... -- The Toxic Custard Workshop Files, Part Four, 1990
Ceiling Cat: Innocent meme, or a stern warning and "friendly reminder" from the government?
Cellphone, keys, wallet, a subway napkin, an appointment reminder card, a receipt, 90 cents.
Certain graphics and writings throughout this site are copyrighted by C. M. Pauluh. These images or passages will be marked appropriately. Please do not steal my works outright and claim them as your own. If you would like to borrow something, please notify me and I will do my best to accomodate you - I promise. If you decide to borrow something of mine and alter it beyond all recognition, that is fine, but I MUST approve it before you use it. Just resizing or changing something to a different color does not mean the thing has been 'altered' - it has to be completely different from anything on this site. You MUST e-mail me so that I can approve it. Don't think I won't find out, because I will. I CAN and WILL take legal action, so don't be stupid.
Certainly not everyone who's cried "who's your daddy??" during sex has actually been the father of the other party.
Certainly not pigeon feces. That's just nasty. Go for the guano.
Certain species of monkeys have been observed pleasuring themselves with sticks. / George Washington Carver did not, in fact, invent peanut butter.
chainsaw to the neck by some dude who wears a bag on his head and speaks spanish
Chair that looks like toaster
Change your accent every three seconds.
Changing the costume for the courtroom doesn't change the fact that it was original a costume of Tigger when the sex crime took place.
Chanman317: you gaggot
(chanting to self; walking around in public) dont get owned. dont get owned (body quickly separated into 500 pieces by metallic alien noise)
Chaplin...Mickey... Pammy.... and Bin Laden... all world famous with nothing in common. =)
Charcoals are a bitch.
<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one: be run over, feet first, by a very slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp: Well, only if you're a toon. Otherwise, you're pretty much fucked.
Cheap compared to blockbuster films... but over a longer period I suppose, still, just throwing it out there
<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.
*checks self for species and gender*
cheese but with pop rocks
cheesecake cactuses balance armchairs on tuesdays
Cheesecake!!! :iconcheesecakeplz:
cheetos make you fat My cat likes eating Cheetos. :lmao:
Chestnuts nipping at your nose
[Chicango Style!]
chicken is VERY good for the lungs. So that's why I love chicken. Alive or not.
chicken mushrooms dance cootie pile of ant sex easter egg penis fight yu gut pubes in yur belly sun and my personal favorite "nacho chips tally wacker ding dong"
Chickens: Sentinent Being with souls.
Eggs: Souless Retards.
Human Fetuses: Souless Retards.
Chick-Fil-A's "Eat mor chikin" cows
Children, dogs, excessively friendly or happy people, and smelly people.
children of great britain rejoice and then be very scared
Chinese, Koreans, what's the difference? They are both crazy Asians who eat rice and do martial arts, no? Huh? HUH????
Chips and dips, chains and whips. / Err, not for me.
Chips are not worth a shotgun blast to the face
chistmas song parodies
Chivalry is not dead, I treat the women I am with right. It's just how I was raised. The last girl I dated got a law named for her. And a bunch of candlelight vigils.
Chloroform or Rohypnol? Which one do you prefer to use on dates? :iconimhappyplz:
Ch'marr, Mr. Gollum AyeAye wishes to speak with you in his office. Bring plenty of bugs and berries.
<ChompyGator> every time you tell a lie, it makes the baby Jesus cry..
<Flirbnic> But Jesus isn't a baby any more
<Flirbnic> He's a corpse
<Oberfeldwebel> OMG HE DIED?!?!?!!?
<Oberfeldwebel> My thoughts and prayors go out to the christ fammily.
Christmas has officially become a beast that can't be fed. There is only one option, ruin it and I mean it's time that we make Christmas so terrible that no one will want to start Christmas this early again.
christmas is cursed for me. finally a stamp to help me tell people what i think about their damn christmas
Christmas is such a dumb ass holiday
christ on a cracker? i thot jesus in a bottle was good. i bow to you.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I had something like that happen to me once.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And vengeance is a plate best served cold.
* Sectoid^Authopsy sits down for storytime
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I saw some asshole stealing my pack of cigarettes from my table while I was getting another beer.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> But of course, as I confronted him, he denied it flatly, and all the sudden four of his mates were getting ready for a fight and shit.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So I decided to back down, and rather get one over him later.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Of course, living in an army camp has it's advantages, such as easy access to ammo.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> o_0
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So I took two Winner Tip cartridges, a little bit of tobacco, and quite a generous amount of gunpowder from a blank I 'obtained', topping it off with tobacco to get a proper look.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Next weekend, I leave my pack containing two cigs rather indiscreetly at my table when I see this assholes is at the pub, and go to pick up another beer.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> When I come back, the pack has vanished. So I get hold of one of the bouncers, telling him that I saw someone carrying "what looked like fireworks around".
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Ten seconds later, there's some nasty fizzing, a lot of smoke and a huge fucking flame coming from one of the corner tables, and seconds later, the same thing happens in the hand of one of the guys sitting there.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And at this point, it has to be mentioned that watching two bouncers pull a screaming guy with no eyebrows left, and a nasty burn up half his face out of a pub, 'accidentally' drop him down the stairs, and finally call the cops on him, does lead to a certain smugness.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> The morale is, don't you ever fucking touch my cigarettes. I can probably spare you one if you ask, but fucking ask first, okay?!
<Chrysalid^Revenge> LOL! Worst mom evar!
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Coming from you, I'm tempted to ask if you got laid again... ^_^
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I'll smack your ass later for that, but anyways
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I was hanging out with a friend today, and he had BB-gun with a cracked barrel.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So he decides to fix it with epoxy, getting it functional before the seaguls arrive
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And in a futile attempt to get the glue to harden faster, he puts the damn gun in his mouth and starts blowing down the barrel.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> I'm starting to sense where this is going...
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Now his mother walks in with some laundry, takes a look at her son with a damn good replica of a 9mm Beretta stuck in his mouth
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And her only words were "Try not to make a mess, and don't get anything stuck in your throat."
<Chrysalid^Revenge> What a lovely relationship those two must have...
*chuckle* you mean it can't be transmitted like a cold? :O_o: so lost...
Cincrely, Bo Luke Hazzard County, USA DEAR BO MANY THANKS TO RETUNING MY E.MAIL SO QUICKLY.
CinderFox73095: Lol, this reminds me of the other day on Maury where this fifteen year old was about to have her second child and she said that she "wants to help populate the world".
MissSweet77: Really? *forlorn sigh* My faith in Humanity points have just plummeted into the negatives.
<cinnabar> tv rots the mind, destroys the imagination, promotes obsesity, and encourages commercialism.
<jazzstepa> its the american way
Circumcision at 14 years old.
citationless behavior
<cj_> this guy is selling STEAKS door to door
<jej> SWEET.
<cj_> he's hella pushy too.
<jej> BUY MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's giving her his cellphone number
<cj_> he actually brought stake with him to show her
<jej> LOOK AT MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's showing her each piece of meat now
<spides> ahaha
<spides> Door to Door Meat
<spides> maybe he's propositioning her in some weird fetishy way
<cj_> this guy is a freak
<cj_> if i had answered the door he woulda been gone about 10 minutes ago
<cj_> who the hell does door-to-door at 8:30
<spides> who the fuck sells steak door to door
<cj_> good fucking question. this guy might be a nut
clap if you're a black hole of a person and have never been satisfied
<Claus> I sell children to old women
<Claus> and they stuff them up their uterus
<Isajeep> oh my god
<clay> prostitution is illegal in the united states of america
<ryano> not in nevada
<clay> were you conceived in nevada
Clean curves in Photoshop...is it impossible??
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
clean your balls
Clearly huskies aren't as "deep" and "emotionally tormented" as wolf hybrids.
Clearly not meant to be, so cry a bit and then eat some pringles.
Clearly the push it out like a great shit. Imagine eating 3 of everything from Taco Bell and taking a dump after that.
clear plastic bag w/ skull mask and cryptic trinkets
click and drag to take maisy car for a drive around your dashboard
if you are on mobile good news! you can just move your phone around and it is like you are driving maisy car around the real world!
Click hear if you want to produce a genetically perfect pig. NO CLONING!
"click here to verify the email address associated with your account" Why? So the trolls can murder me easier ??
"Climate change conspiracy" contains too many words for fox news. Climategate works better; everyone who watches fox news is old enough to know that anything with "gate" on the end must mean conspiracy.
Climb in the nest and watch for a pterodactyl... When you see it, let it grab you and take you to a secret cave with lots of shiney gems and crystals ^^
CLOAK: Do you think they're plants?
DAGGER: Lemme check my file of double and triple agents again...no, I don't think so.
CLOAK: But maybe YOU are and, if so, then they are too. Right?
DAGGER: Only if you haven't doubled and are trying to cross me up!
CLOAK: Come to think of it, you always call in sick on May 1st...
DAGGER: Sure, it's my mother's birthday. Lookit, how are we going to tell if any of these three guys is cool if all we do is argue about which of US might be a mole?
CLOAK: Okay. Suppose you and I are straight arrows. Then Yurchenko got to us, right? That's not supposed to happen. Therefore, someone in the Company has doubled and threw him back into the sea.
DAGGER: I can't believe he took off out of 'Au Pied du Cochon,' that's such a great place to eat. Who was escorting Yurchenko?
CLOAK: Someone in Deep Cover. You know we're not supposed to operate here in the States.
DAGGER: How do I know it wasn't you? You do local escorts to make Christmas money, don't you?
CLOAK: No, it wasn't me. I was playing in the Company's tennis tournament.
DAGGER: I didn't see you there! What flight were you in?
CLOAK: Don't try to trip me up! I know for a fact you were NOT there because I wasn't either--I was assigned to follow you.
DAGGER: Then you know I wasn't the escort.
CLOAK: No I don't! I lost you on 'M' Street at rush hour. You drive like a madman--<brrrrrrr!> madman! Where WERE you between then and no--<Brrrrr---zap!>
Oh, heck, we lost our tap.
clocking in for another day at the i dont wanna factory
Closed by OP request :lock:
<@cloudchild> if i wanted to drink the blood from a horned creature, i would've went after bob dole
<@DarkDread> I just thought those were really large ears.
<@cloudchild> nope horns. and he hides his tail well...but you can see his hoofed feet if the camera angle is right
<@cloudchild> "I'm bob dole! i kill virgins and drink the blood of the pope!"
<@DarkDread> what's so bad about that?
<@cloudchild> nothin.
c'mon, apart for the art/porn, what's NOT to hate?
cmon bro just one pdf cant hurt. no one gets addicted after one pdf lmao it's totally fine bro
C'mon Egypt... Aren't you taking this riot business a little bit too far?
cmon man we were having such an awesome knife fight whyd you bring a gun
Coasters rule! Anytime I get on a roller coster and always freak out the person sitting next to me by screaming "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [-]
cock reveal in 12,000 years
cognitive behavioral torture
<coldXfire_> i need a slogan for an abortion clinic
<coldXfire_> ideas?
<p0lska> "If he doesn't pull it out, we will."
College for the asexual and antisocial!
Colonel Panic and General Failure, together, they will take over the world!
Colossul Saren, God of Death and War, bringer of Pain and suffering, giver of Despair, seeks young bitch for good times, GSOH and cinema lover essential.
Comanche-English-French? Interesting mixture, that :)
Come back when you've stopped drinking apple juice from the strong-typing equivalent of a sippy-cup, and had some wine from the Haskell strong-typing elegantly-stemmed wine-glass
come here so i can pinch you with my clamping beak
Come one, come all!!!! THE TEMPLE OF HATE IS BORN ANEW!!!! UNTO ME, CHILDREN!!
Come on fate, I triple dog dare you, you big pussy.
Come on, you can't have Christianity without hypocrisy.
come to the dark side we have cookies
Come to the dark side... / YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! / ...we have cookies / ...oh. Well then. *slowly edges away from the light side*
coming face to face with shamu at sea world. / i was fucking horrified. i froze up, couldn't move, all i saw was his big fucking face and UGH.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
Coming soon- A Crock Of Shit Now. ( Parody of Apocalypse Now )
comin' in hot" I scream as I run into a crowded bathroom and fart into a urinal
COmmence teh SACRIFICES / EVIL DnD ALTER APPEARS OUT OF NO WHERE / I ROLL A NATURAL 20!! + MY BONUS = 37... / I OWNED YOU ALL!!! / MY PALADIN CUTS AT YEW WITH HIS VORPAL BASTARDSWORD... / epic own
Comment of the fucking year. Bravo, good sir.
commisions?
<Communista> I'm going to hell.
<Communista> I'm just a wicked person.
<Communista> I was on lunch with the trainees and a news story came on about the showing (funeral) of a man that drowned...
<Communista> and I turned to them and said "Wanna go see a dead body?"
Comparing someone to Hitler is crossing the line.
No, actually, it's taking an airplane 3000 miles across the line.
:stare:
Complain about your new gifts. They can't hear you here.
Complaint Regulars with with empy galleries or galleries that should be fucking empty
<computolio> I ONLY EXIST BECAUSE I WAS INVENTED BY SOME INTERNET GEEK'S CRAZY SEXUAL FANTASIES
Condoms are sexy to boot.
condoms as christmas present
Confession: I would let Zigzag creampie me. I'm sorry
confession of a driving "incident" yesterday. god help me.
Confessions of a giggler most foul: I was born caked in shit. & I never touched my own ass hole until I was 20.
<Confuzion> ok all females: 1) Get in fron of webcam 2) take off shirt 3) focus on boobies 4) *click* 5) /dccsend confuzion boobie.jpg 6) repeat process for bottom portion of body.
*note* do not mix up steps please follow corect order. thank you.
Congrats on outing yourself by admitting you're a 13 year old wolfaboo fan girl who makes hollow death threats. You win the, Thank you for making me lost faith in humans as a species award.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE THE 1,000,000TH VISITOR TO MY PSYCIC ENERGY PRISON! CLICK HERE TO INSTANTLY DIE
<CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
<CoN> oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
<CoN> ... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Considerate, Understanding, Nice, Trustworthy!
Considering introducing a controlled burn to the prairies of my mind
<Conskill> That kinda gun brings out the raving gun loving American in us all.
<The_Tick> Over and under shotgun. Three throwing knives. The ability to hide.
<Rain> yeah, seriously.
<Rain> The_tick - Huh?
<The_Tick> That's all you need.
<The_Tick> And it's cheeeep.
<Twinkcide> Rain: The bullets are embedded in cakes of propellant instead of casings. It was designed to overcome the problem of recoil pushing the barrel off target while firing in bursts
<Twinkcide> Has an insane ROF while in 3-round burst mode, and no recoil until the third round has left the barrel
<Pander> Tick: That won't kill a velociraptor.
<The_Tick> On the other hand, I'd sleep with that thing if I had one.
<Pander> I base all gun purchases on "Will this kill a velociraptor?"
*Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
contest yes im having one cash prizes
Cook and wait on her lover, the dyke.
<cooksii> incest is at least something the whole family can do.
Cool, I have a blocked toilet.
Cool story? If you're allowed to hate people for their opinons, they're allowed to have them.
And that's Miss Heartless and Unforgiving to you!
cool wizards do drugs
Cool, you're reading our file. Now you must die. _I Bleed for This?_
is a Quality Product put out by two pathetic fucks from somewhere near
Boston. It is not remotely cool in any way. It's just something we have to
do, a way to pass the time until we die. We wish our lives could be more
like a Mentos commercial, but in reality our lives are so dull we could be
extras in a Morrissey video (except that we hate Morrissey). -- I Bleed For This? zine #1, 1994
COPS! Or possibly a cat. WAIT NO, IT'S CAT COPS! WE'RE GONNA GET OUR SHIT CLAWED UP!
Copy and paste me a fuck to give, I don't have any on this end.
Copyright it before I do!
corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine? Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you? corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have committed that number to memory. Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*. corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version? Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice of words.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
corny, boring, and well just plain corny. They dont suck. They are a talented group of dudes. But when i hear them i wanna eat a cheese log.
Correct. have a cookie, you little Einstein. :iconbigcookieplz:
Correct. I am normal.
Correct. I would totally have been aborted if my Mom had been able to ask my opinion.
Costco was not conceived, financed and built just for you and your slow ass family.
cotton mouth is real and its deadly
coughs social skills are not yet fully developed
Could it one day be part of the past....? Stay Hentai free.
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
Couple staff members are a bunch of SJWs anyway.
Courage did have some genuinely scary moments, but it can't be passed up. Looking back, however, the "Don't You Believe It!" from Tom & Jerry is actually kinda creepy.
cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant
*covered in mold, fused into the wall, coughing up spores* there is no greater honor than to assist in the proliferation of the mycelium network
Coward is another word for 'Romney' "Loser" is another.
cowboy carebears ridin my little ponies roundin up popples
coworker2: (guy standing next to me) a lil grimlin with short spikey hair and bright blue eyes... what did i tell you guys about feeding the animals?
Cows don't do those things either, but they contribute. THerefore I want to believe cats do too, because cats are not cool.
Crack Her Barrel
crack the egg of sympathy and make the omelette of compassion
Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
craig: I suddenly have the urge to rip someone's ear off... can you guess why?
ted: uh... you've been possessed by vincent van gogh?
craping out a single sunflower seed and frowning while i inspect it
Crap Pencil Sharpeners can kiss my sorry white ass.
Crap-stravaganza (score up to 7 free craps!)
crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Crave: Necromantic magic / Gideon: Guns, and his claws. / Edie: Her ass, her brain and formaldehyde.
CRAWLIIIIING IN MY SKIIIIIIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEEAAAAAALL.
Crawl through the air shafts / The worst way to eat food...
crayfish would make for good wizards
ur so fucking right
Crazy Frog. My friend was playing one of my mixed cds and Axel F, the orinigal, not the fucked up version, came on and she happily yelled, "I love Crazy Frog!". It isn't a fucking crazy frog song!!!
Crazy lady at safeway checkstand yelling about candied yams - m4w
Crazy? Me? Because I Know the secret of the Earth and its too dangerous to tell.
Crazy (wander)lust: around the world in 80 days
Create your own DADA event! Print out these facts, get a bunch of
friends together, and head for the nearest overpopulated area. Give
each person a few pages, and then read them all out LOUD, simultaneously.
The more people reading different things at once, the better. The effect
is overwhelming; we've seen it work many times, and it's completely legal.
It's even better if you're wearing "Save the Planet, Kill Yourself" T-shirts.
Skull masks are nice, but be sure to cut a big enough hole for your mouth.
-Rev. Chrissy -- Church of Euthanasia zine, "Fun Facts", 1994
Creating a list of the sexiest animated cartoon women.
creature from the black legume
*Cries and runs to my room but stops at the door.* / I HATE YOU!!! *slams the door and cries on my pilliow.*
<Crimson_Dynamo> If I were stranded on a desert isle, I think I would make a girl out of coconuts, but she'd probably just want to be friends
Critique not desired. No really. NOT DESIRED. Yes, that means even YOU.
CRITIQUE PLEASE! (Critiquers, please come and help!)
crossfaded on milk and cookies
crossfaded on wisdom and understanding#crossfading on seeing and knowing
CROSS IS A WOMAN and that is about it.
<Cross> Oh, wow. Old school papers.
<Cross> This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:
<Cross> "Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to build. The wind turbines can also interfere with television and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can fly into the rotors."
<Cross> "Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support domestic violence."
<Cross> That's when you know you're tired.
<Herring> That is awesome.
Cross your legs, weve got a wave of dick theft.
Crucifix dobro guitar played by Funky Jesus - $priceless
Cruel.com will be contacted and have their asses whupped accordingly.
Cruel Intention ost the best sountrack for having sex
Crunchy Tiger Rolls. I want to have wild sex with the possibly dead Japanese guy that put that together. / I don't care if he may be dead! This mortal coil will not prevent me from showing him my appreciation! / Oh, and soft tacos.
CrystalWolfsong: Well I agree that there are random incidents when animals act bizarre like the zombie cats but on a normal basis they don't go out hunting us
xKittyCreatorx: Still
CrystalWolfsong: We are not on there menu
xKittyCreatorx: But they can still eat us
CrystalWolfsong: Well anything with teeth can even we can
<|CS|Lothar> but it canadian money and we all know canadian money isnt worth the paper it's printed on
<Lareonis> Kinda like American treaties?
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
<Cthon98> so I waited until my friend bought a box of timbits and got back in the car
<Cthon98> (timbits being "donut holes" or whatever you yanks call them)
<Cthon98> and just as he was about to bit into one, I say
<Cthon98> "you ever notice how those look just like creamy shaved nuts?"
<Cthon98> so I now have a free box of timbits.
Ctrl + C Ctrl + P Seriously, these are the greatest developments in IT since the keyboard ;) All the time my boss is hearing about reusable codebase, what he's actually getting is a copy/paste frenzy :giggle:
<Cuban Atlas> See, Zeir, FD is smart..He ops himself the moment he enters
<FD> This way I can abuse the power faster
<Polo> That's the American way
<FD> Damn right
CucArAchAChik: FUK IT ALL FUK THIS WORLD FUK EVERYTHING THAT u stand 4
Cuddleslut climbs into your lap and murrskritches.
Cue the Revelation scriptures...
Cue the self-righteous wrath of the furries now:
*cuffed in the back of a cop car* you guys arent mad at me right
cult movies rock out loud
Cum left to dry on a female's face is an ancient practice. See it every day in Minneapolis.
Cumming new world order? Seriously?
CUM ON AND ON AND ON.BIG LOADS OF HOT JELLY BABIES ON YOUR FACE.YOU LOVE IT THOUGH.OH-CUMON LET ME SMACK YOUR FACE AND LIPS WITH MT CUM SOAKED COCK.
cursebearing hips
Cursed Coffee Mug - $6
curse you stairs
Customers[1] were a breed of animal hunted to extinction.[2] They were renowned for being stupid as all fuck[3] and annoying the shit out of me[4].
cute, birdy, robin?? u make it easy for me! GAY!! (he is)
Cut my sandwich diagonally? No thanks, I'm a boring idiot who sucks and is no fun to hang out with, I'll have it cut the stupid way please
*cuts himself a switch and then flogs you all to within an inch of your lives* / *throws the switch aside and stalks off, muttering to himself*
"Cutting Edge" humor that is too intelligent for anybody but the author and his coffeeshop friends to understand.
<cX> I LIKE BLOOD TRICKLING FROM MY PLANK SHAPED RECTUM
<cX> THATS WHAT I LIKE
<cX> CUZ IM A MERICAN
<cX> FROM MERICA
Cyanobacteria 2 billion years ago emitted enough waste to permanently change the planet's atmospheric composition and wipe out almost all other life and now some baby ape species is like "look I'm just like you!!! are you watching??? grandpa are you watching?!?!?!"
<CyberMind> ive been programming and using computers since my old days in the womb.
<CyberMind> umbilical ethernet
<SR71Goku> how fast do you get on it?
<SR71Goku> I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s
<CyberMind> actually quite slow.
<CyberMind> network was flooded with protein and nutrient packets.
<SR71Goku> LOL...
<SR71Goku> "Daddy once DoSed my connection..."
<CyberMind> ok im ending it right there.